Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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