Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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