I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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