Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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