just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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