hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
