Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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