She is in my trunk
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
sex in a hospital.. check
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
