I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
