so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
