he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
