normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
