The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
