so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize