Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
