Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
