im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
