the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
mondays should just be called national damage control day
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
