Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He passed out mid-signature
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just had sex on a roof
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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