u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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