I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
