He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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