If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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