You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
