Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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