He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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