I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
