I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
