saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Houston, we have a blender
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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