Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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