just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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