I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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