pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
