Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
