Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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