I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
