i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
