if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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