a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have post one night stand depression
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
