obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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