what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
