All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
