fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
