I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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