Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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