You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize