on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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