you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
