she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
