so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
