I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
