Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
