this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
