I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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