but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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