what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
