It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
