hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am available for nakedness
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i think i just lost a toe
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
