you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
