I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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