He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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