If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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