where am i from again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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