just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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